Life in the fast lane...

FFN Flame Fail

2009-11-06T20:45:22Z

A review submitted today for one of my fics:

I do think that you need to do a little more research in to your subject matter ands the star wars universe in general.

For instance, Nar-Shada has never been and imperial world, it has always been controlled by the huts, and Myn new that Lara was alive. At the end of the wraith books he is in Wedge's office with Tycho, and together they listened to the message she left because they needed Myn's opinion on her message. In the message she basically let him know that she was alive and going by the name Kernney.

My response:

A couple notes: There's no indication as to whether Donos actually read the message or not at the end of Solo Command. The message was intercepted by Han Solo and Wedge Antilles while in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon. They forwarded the message, but it was never stated whether Donos read it or not. There was never a scene in that novel where Donos, Celchu, and Antilles reviewed the message in Antilles' office.

Second, there were passing mentions of an Imperial shipyard over Nar Shaddaa's orbit leading up to and during the Galactic Civil War. This suggests that the planet was in fact under control of the Galactic Empire during the time Darvix would have lived there.

(What I should have added: Your spelling and grammar is atrocious and you should be ashamed of yourself)

Research that, sucker.

I am a Browncoat

2009-10-31T05:16:38Z

(Apologies for the Myspace-esque self-shot)

Not photoed: My girlfriend who went as Inara.

Things that annoy me: #3,843

2009-10-25T22:51:14Z

To preface, I'm taking a database theory class in a community college. In this class, the median age of the students is something like 38. I, on the other hand, am 21. Yesterday in class my group is trying to pick out entity classes from a project proposal so we can diagram the relations between them. This should be fairly easy, because entity classes are just general nouns like "Student" or "Advisor" or "Teacher". Should have taken maybe thirty minutes to diagram the relations, but no, it took us two hours.

My group couldn't get past the little details. Student names, Advisor names, class IDs, other identification numbers. Note that these things are not general nouns that could be construed as entity classes. They are attributes of entity classes.

This isn't what really bothered me. No, this was nothing.

Whenever I pointed out the fact that my group was getting caught up in the little details and missing the bigger picture, their response to me tended to be along these lines: "Thanks for your input, son, but I've been in the workforce for thirty years. I think I know a thing or two about project proposals. Now you just nod and smile while the grownups talk."

This is the point where I facepalm, ignore them, and finish it all myself in ten minutes.

Writer's Block: Nothing to fear but fear itself

2009-10-16T07:12:00Z

What is your biggest fear? Have you tried to overcome it?

Submitted By teammccracken

View 1474 Answers

Clowns.

No.

*shudder*

Happy 18th

2009-10-11T17:05:01Z

miraxcorran ! Go buy some dry ice and make dry ice bombs or go gamble!

Fic updates and such

2009-10-09T21:08:38Z

Well, this quarter has been very, very bad for my writing. I just haven't had time to do much. I did make a bit of headway on one of my fics and got past a really big stumbling block, so that's good. Anyhoo, here are updates in bullet form.

I just finished uploading all of X-Wing: Rise of a Rogue to FFN. The one-chapter-a-day Monday-Friday schedule worked well. Only four people reviewed, but I was averaging about 30 views per chapter. At the very least, I know people were reading it and that's a nice feeling.
I just uploaded the dramatis personae, prologue, and first chapter of Redemption of the Exiles to FFN. I'll be following the same Monday-Friday update schedule.
I am once again stalled on my HP fic. I just can't break my writer's block on this fic for some reason and that's really bugging me.
I did make some progress on my Weird Fic of Doom (The Transcendental Force). Got past a section that was holding me up for weeks, so hopefully futher progress will go better.
I still owe Myra the Luke/Mara fic I promised her in exchange for the laternate ending to Resurrection she promised me. I swear I'm going to write it.

In other news, I turn 21 on Sunday. It feels like I'm about to kiss away any pretense that I'm still a teenager.

QotD: Twitter Edition

2009-10-08T14:39:08Z

From Nathan Fillion's Twitter:

"Johnathan Frakes is directing. Yesterday, he called me Number One. My heart made a noise that sounded like awesome."

Heeee.

That

2009-09-22T18:30:29Z

was the best episode of House since CTB died.

AAAAGHGHHH

2009-09-12T04:21:39Z

I now understand why people have a love/OHMYGODIWANTTOKILLYOU relationship with Joss Whedon.

All you need to know is that I watched Serenity.

Sport analysis with real world applications

2009-09-11T05:32:31Z

Paul DePodesta is a smart man.

A lot of people have a hard time moving away from results-based analysis to process-based analysis.

Process-based analysis is great. It's fair and it correctly identifies why something went right or why something went wrong. It's rational above all else. Really, though, Process-based analysis can be summed up in one easy-to-understand matrix. Originally, this chart was designed by DePo to address the results of major league baseball's first year player draft. Really though, it's got applications to all walks of life.

What does this chart tell us? Four things.

1. Sometimes you take a stupid path to a solution and wind up with a wonderful result. Don't expect it to happen again.
2. Sometimes you take a smart path to a solution and wind up with disaster. Your process was sound, keep at it.
3. Sometimes you take a smart path to a solution and come out smelling like roses. Congrats, you deserved that victory.
4. Sometimes you take a stupid path to a solution and reality slaps you across the face and chastises you for being a damn fool.

Good grief I'm posting a lot today.

2009-09-10T17:22:10Z

Good news, everyone! /Professor Farnsworth

I don't have Swine Flu. Hooray!

While I'm waiting for lab results...

2009-09-10T16:41:26Z

I've had to urge to write or read a crossover fic. And it's a crossover fic concept that I think could be just damn awesome.

Doctor Who/Firefly

So to the fic readers on my flist who read more fic in a week than I possibly could in a year, does a fic like this exist?

Geek Culture is Dangerous

2009-09-10T16:05:27Z

So as I've told a few people, I was at PAX* last week. A few days later, I got sick.

Turns out there was a Swine Flu outbreak at PAX! So yeah, I got tested for it about an hour ago and I'm waiting for the results. Yay.

*Despite that, PAX was totally awesome.

Beware, for here be more politics.

2009-09-10T06:12:22Z

No rant this time.

www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/09/10/obama.heckled.speech/index.html

It's crap like this that's made it so I have no official party affiliation. I've gone from being a 70/30 voter favoring conservative politicians/issues (and a registered Republican in primaries) to a 50/50 Independent in the span of TWO FREAKING YEARS. Good God I hate politics and politicians. Watching Congress is ten times worse than all the drama wars in high school.

To every member of Congress who can't get over the little R or D listed before your name on the official roll, I have a message for you that I've borrowed from the wise and illustrious Jon Stewart:

BE A FUCKING PERSON.

PLEASE! Please I beg of you, get over yourselves and your petty little party wars and find some room in your hearts to be compassionate, rational, caring human beings. Also, if I could implore you to do just one more teeny, tiny thing...

DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS AND FIX HEALTH CARE.

...okay so there was a bit of a rant in there. I promise, I'm off the political high horse now and we'll be back to regularly scheduled trips into Lane's Deranged Mind tomorrow.

Beware, for here be politics

2009-09-09T03:59:38Z

Before I continue, I'll just preface by saying I think the healthcare system is broken and something really needs to be done. I don't know if a public option or co-ops are the answer, but something needs to happen. Drug prices are wildly out of control (and I really mean this, my Remicade would set me back about $20,000 a year if I wasn't insured and even with insurance I have to pay $4,000 out of pocket on an annual basis), there aren't enough primary care physicians out there and too many of the ones that do exist are woefully incompetent at their jobs.

The system is broken, something needs to be done. However...I think Congress may have found the one option worse than doing nothing.

Is fining a family that doesn't have health insurance $3,800 really the answer here?

Some consider this akin to the compulsory driver's insurance. Well, if I wanted to get out of the driver's insurance the option is simply not to own and drive a car. If I wanted to get out of a fine for not having health insurance I'd have to...Well, you get the idea.

Don't get me wrong, I want something to be done about the health care system. I just can't help but feel that this current proposal is absolutely insane to be discussing right now. Whatever the reasoning is, I can't fathom how these fines can possibly move the health care debate forward at this point. I'm in favor of reform, but there are a lot of people who aren't and those people are going to go apeshit when they hear about this proposal.

Fining individuals who don't have health insurance as a means to fund or promote health care reform is not helping the cause. To a certain extent I agree with what this proposal would do, and that's crack down on people who can afford insurance, refuse it, and take advantage of emergency services. However, now really isn't the time to be murmuring about 4-digit fines.

Get a non-compulsory public option going, then you can discuss fining people without insurance.

Edit: Thank you, President Obama. Here's the magic solution as described on CNN. The "Trigger" Option:

Obama just might have his finger on something that can get him through this health care showdown: the "trigger" option.

The idea would give insurance companies a defined period to make changes in order to help cover more people and drive down long-term costs. If those changes failed to occur within the defined period, a trigger would provide for a public option to force change on the insurance companies.

Lane's Apology to Joss Whedon, Part II

2009-09-04T16:53:26Z

Again, I'm so sorry it took me years to watch Firefly. I will purchase this shirt as a penance for my sins.

Also, I am madly in love with Kaylee Frye.

Clearing out the story folder

2009-09-03T21:25:19Z

This was written up a month or two ago right after Resurrection finished up in order to tie up some loose ends. If you followed the link from TF.N here, welcome and feel free to add me to your LJ friend list!

At My Side is a fic that takes place between the last chapter and the epilogue of Resurrection of a Rogue. It's a bit of an experiment fic in which you see me dabble in writing in the first person perspective.

Anyhoo, fic under the cut

At My Side

“Stop coddling her.”

She really knows just what to say to make me tick. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing, somewhere in that brain of hers she has formulated the precise words needed to press my buttons. It was almost as if she thrived on my frustration. If I was training with my lightsaber she’d chide me for using too much movement in my motions. Whenever I was analyzing data Karrde would send me, she’d shake her head and question my conclusions. Every time I stepped on the bridge, she would tell me I should do something about those few strands of grey hair that were cropping up. No, I will not do something about the grey. It’s a very dignified look.

Now she was taking exception with the way I was handling Kess. I’m too soft on her, she says. I don’t give her enough freedom, she claims.

“She’s fine,” I say dismissively as I try to turn my attention back to the stack of datapads on my desk.

“No, she’s not,” Kasari responds. “All she’s doing right now is practicing with her lightsaber and spending time in the flight simulator. Give her some responsibility, Dap.”

I rolled my eyes, “She’s not ready to take on one of Karrde’s assignments.”

“Like hell she’s not,” Kasari snapped. “How old were you when you left for the Starfighter Academy to start flying multi-million credit military warships?”

“That was different!” I told her. “I had no family and no means of supporting myself.”

She fixed me with a cold stare, “You managed, didn’t you?”

By that point I was fed up. I didn’t need Kasari telling me how to take care of the only family I had left in the Galaxy. I wasn’t about to put Kess in danger by sending her out on some fool’s errand for Karrde. That was my job. I would be the one taking the risks. I would be the one getting shot at by security details. There was no way I was going to let Kess get wrapped up in my dangerous lifestyle. If Kasari wanted Kess to help out, she could sort through datapads.

“Are we done here?” I spat.

Kasari frowned and turned on her heels, walking out of my office. I tried to scan over another datapad but set it down after a few moments. After knowing someone for so long, you begin to feel guilty when you mistreat them. It was kind of amusing, really. Ten years ago I would have snapped at her and not said another word. She would then leave and stew over the tongue-lashing I had given her. Hours later I could walk up to her and she’d still be fuming.

I’ll admit it. I felt bad for snapping at Kasari. I really was beginning to go soft. I stood up (remarking to myself that I wasn’t nearly as limber as I was thirteen years ago) and strode towards the door, leaving my office and scanning the hallway. Seeing that she wasn’t there, I proceeded to the command bridge to see if she was at her tactical post. Unfortunately, the only person present was my astrogations officer, Vik Kelrune.

“Have you seen Kasari?” I asked.

Vik glanced over his shoulder, “If this is another one of your lover’s quarrels, forget it. Last time I got involved I about had a pair of lightsabers at my throat.”

I glared at Vik, “You’re going to get my lightsaber shoved somewhere unpleasant if you keep suggesting things.”

I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Vik at the moment and decided to leave the command bridge without another word. At some point he had gotten it into his head that Kasari and I were having some sort of relationship behind his back. Vik was constantly trying to get us to spill details of our non-existent love life. There were times I wondered if he was a teenaged girl trapped in the body of a thirty-four year old man. The next time he told me to “just get it over with and bed her,” I would be forced to inflict physical harm upon him.

I found Kasari hiding in the mess. Just as I suspected, she was still fuming, casting me an angry look before ignoring my existence again, “You know, you’re kind of cute when you’re coming up with images of me with vibroblades sticking out of my back in your head.”

She looked at me for a brief moment, choosing not to respond.

“I’m sorry I was short with you,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck as I sat down beside her, “and I thought about what you said.”

“I have a hard time believing that,” Kasari replied.

I placed my hand over hers, “You’re right about Kess. She deserves the chance to prove herself… I’ve got a couple of low-level assignments from Karrde that I’ve been putting off for a while. We can get her started with one of those.”

“Good,” She said, taking her hand away from mine.

“Still mad at me?” I asked.

“A bit.”

I shifted in my seat to face her, “Anything I can do to make up for my terrible misdeed towards you?”

“Give me a minute,” she said. “I have to think of something that’s both worthwhile to me and humiliating to you.”

After all this time, it was important for Kasari and me to smooth out these little tiffs. We both knew how to push each other’s buttons and knew just what to say to diffuse the tension. To be honest, I don’t know where I would be without her. I’m the kind of person who is liable to do something outrageous. Kasari is the one person in the Galaxy who can keep me grounded in reality. I can’t name a single person I’d trust more than her.

For thirteen years, she has always been at my side.

~*~

As soon as we’re out of here, I’m going to kill him. This was far and away the worst situation he has ever gotten me into. This was worse than the time a Kryat Dragon was chasing after me. It was worse than the garbage disposal I fell into while trying to get away from a group of Stormtroopers. Hands down, this was the most awful thing that arrogant bastard had ever forced me into. Darvix Zorvan was going to pay dearly for this. My revenge was going to be swift and painful. Let me be upfront, I’m willing to do all sorts of crazy things for him. This, on the other hand, he forced me into.

I’m wearing a dress.

That nerf-herder had put me into a little, black Lashaa-silk dress. What’s worse is that he dragged me out to one of Karrde’s overly elaborate functions so he could rub elbows with other figures in the smuggling world. Contacts were everything to Darvix. The more people he knew, the more people he could exploit. That was all well and good, he was more than welcome to meet new people to take advantage of. What was not acceptable was dragging me into this.

Of course, I’m getting away from the larger problem. I’m wearing a dress! I admit, I’ve always been a bit on the tomboyish side. I didn’t have dolls as a girl but rather model Rebellion-era starfighters (the replica Red Two X-Wing from the Battle of Yavin was my favorite). Hell, prior to joining the Jedi Academy I wanted to be a bartender. Frilly things weren’t my style, yet here I was at some fancy gala in a little black dress.

“Relax,” Darvix said to me, “you look fine.”

I resisted the urge to rip out his trachea and strangle him with it, “I look like a cheap Corellian hooker.”

“Nonsense,” he replied. “A cheap Corellian hooker wouldn’t be wearing that lovely lipstick.”

And the makeup. He had insisted on it, the smug bastard. The last time I wore makeup was for a formal school dance I had gone to as a teenager, “You’re a dead man, Zorvan.”

And so we spent the evening conversing with other smugglers in Karrde’s organization. It was the same routine every time. Darvix would introduce himself as the Captain of the Wayfarer and then gesture to me, explaining that I was his executive officer. It took every fiber of my being to keep a smile plastered on my face. My ankles and calves were starting to balk because of the heels I was wearing. Every few moments I’d have to tug at the bottom of the little black dress to keep it in place. While Darvix was talking with Karrde, Shadaa offered me a sympathetic smile. At least she knew the pain I was going through.

Eventually I managed to slip away. I walked out of the large social hall and out onto one of the nearby balconies. Almost immediately I regretted it. It was cold outside, and the little black dress did little to protect my legs and arms. Yet another reason Darvix was going to suffer by my hands. I folded my arms across my chest to try and stay warm. At least it was better than being back in there. The next smuggler to stare at my chest would lose his eyes.

“A little chilly out here, don’t you think?” Darvix said as he leaned against the balcony railing.

“Force help me, Zorvan,” I replied, “I am going to kill you for this.”

Just then I heard the sound of music coming from the social hall. My stomach sank as a wide grin formed on Darvix’s face. Before I could argue (or flee) he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back inside. I cursed as I nearly tripped over my heels, all the while trying to free myself from Darvix. I recognized the music as being some sort of a waltz. Of course it was, Karrde and overly elegant music? I’d be shocked if it were anything less.

“Ever danced to a waltz before?” Darvix asked me.

I raised a brow, “No. I don’t dance.”

“I’d say it’s high time to learn, wouldn’t you?”

“What? No!” I protested.

Of course, that didn’t stop him. He took my hand into his and placed my other hand on his shoulder. Before I could do anything he placed his hand on the small of my back and drew me into him. Suffice to say, I was both surprised and embarrassed. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. No doubt I was blushing a deeper shade of red than Tatooine at sunset. Words failed me at that moment. I couldn’t even begin to describe how uncomfortable I was.

“A waltz is fairly straightforward,” Darvix explained. “Think of it in fairly quickly connected counts of three. One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three. All you have to do is count and follow my lead.”

I’m not ashamed to admit that I stepped on his toes a dozen or so times within the first thirty seconds. Honestly, I was taken aback by how patient he was. Normally when I did something wrong he would immediately snap at me and spend the following twenty minutes chewing me out. I remember one particular instance back at the Academy where he lectured me for an hour over my lightsaber technique. Now he was smiling and laughing, something I wasn’t used to seeing out of him. It almost looked as if he were having fun trying to teach me how to dance.

“Where did you learn how to dance?” I asked.

“My sister taught me,” he explained. “She loved to dance but always needed a partner. You should have seen the Ithorian two-step she tried to teach me.”

I could only shake my head, “I never figured you for being a dancer. Part of me wishes I could hold my own on the floor.”

“You’re not doing so bad.”

I hadn’t even noticed that I wasn’t stepping on his feet anymore. I didn’t look particularly graceful, but I was holding my own now. What more could you say? Darvix Zorvan was a brilliant instructor.The music stopped for a moment. As I tried to back away from him (thinking that he’d appreciate a bit of personal space), he increased his hold on me, “The song’s over, Dap.”

“Thank you, Kasari,” he said to me.

This was all starting to get a bit surreal, “You’re the one who trapped me on the dance floor.”

“There aren’t a whole lot of people who have the patience to put up with me,” he said. “Somehow you’ve managed to do that for thirteen years.”

“Someone has to keep you out of trouble,” I replied.

He smiled faintly, “Sometimes I feel like I’m holding you back. There’s always a little voice in the back of my head telling me that you can do better than working under scum like me.”

“Oh, shut up,” I said. “If I thought you were holding me back, I would have left years ago and taken some other post with the Jedi Academy.”

“It means a lot to me, you know,” he continued. “Force knows I’d probably be dead now if it weren’t for you.”

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Where was he going with this?

“Even someone as stubborn as me begins to realize the importance of someone like you,” he said somberly. “I probably should have acknowledged my feelings a long time ago.”

“Dap, what are you trying to…”

I felt his other arm wrap around me, drawing my body closer to his. I looked up at him (though admittedly I didn’t have to tilt my head all that far, starfighter pilots had a tendency to be a bit shorter than the average man). My heart skipped a beat. We didn’t utter a word as we finally admitted to each other how we felt. We didn’t need to. As his lips pressed softly against mine, I allowed myself to become lost in his embrace. How long had we both felt this way? It didn’t really matter, I realized.

He had always been at my side. As far as I was concerned, I would always be at his.

~*~

I’ve never been so nervous in my life.

I once ejected from a burning starfighter into a hard vacuum and I felt more composed than I am now. Hell, even during my final exams at the Starfighter Academy I didn’t feel quite this anxious. Right now it felt as if my heart was going to leap out of my throat and hitch a ride on the next transport to Tatooine. My stomach was faring no better. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought someone had reached inside me and was twisting my intestines into knots. I nervously tugged at the sleeves of my black formal coat.

“You okay, Dap?” Karrde asked me. “You look like you’re trying to navigate through The Maw.”

“I might stand a chance of breathing properly if I was trying to fly between black holes,” I replied.

Just as I was about to eject the contents of my lunch onto the bridge of the Wild Karrde, she passed through the doors and made her way towards me. Kasari looked absolutely stunning. Now, I don’t the sort of “stunning” some sludge news tabloid would associate with a holostar (though in my biased opinion she could hold her own with any holodrama actress), she was simply beautiful. Her smile and the way she carried herself exuded a sense of confidence and unadulterated joy. All of that was complimented by the elegant, flowing white dress she wore.

This really was happening.

She smiled at me as she stood across from me, Karrde in between us, “Relax, Dap. It’s just you, me, Karrde, and his entire crew watching. No pressure.”

“Pressure? Me?” I smiled in turn. Thank the Force she recognized that I was feeling rather anxious. “Perish the thought. This is just another ploy to get you into a dress.”

“Nice try, flyboy,” she replied. “I willingly chose to be in a dress this time.”

Karrde cleared his throat, “I do hate to interrupt, but are you to ready to proceed?”

Oh that’s right. We’re at a wedding.

Our wedding.

I hadn’t even noticed that Kess was standing next to Kasari and Vik was standing next to me. Neither of us had many close friendships beyond those that we had either brought with us to Karrde’s smuggler operation or had formed after we began to work for him. Vik and I had been close friends since our days at the academy. Kasari and Kess had become the best of companions in the year and a half we had worked together. We didn’t have to do much thinking before asking them to be the witnesses for our wedding.

“Friends and comrades,” Karrde addressed the crew that had assembled on the bridge of the Wild Karrde, “We’re gathered here to witness the eternal union of Kasari Lisae and Darvix Zorvan. Both Kasari and Dap have asked that this ceremony be kept brief, so we’ll proceed straight to the vows. Do you have the promise ring?”

I looked over at Vik and whispered, “I swear if you do that ‘I’m going to pretend I’ve lost the ring’ routine, I will knock your teeth out.”

He merely grinned at me and placed the ring in my hand as Karrde continued, “I know you have prepared your own vows. Please exchange them at this time.”

I had to swallow to get rid of the lump in my throat. I smiled once more at Kasari and took her hand in mine, running my thumb softly over her skin, “Kasari, I give you this promise ring as a symbol of my eternal love and deep gratitude. As I place it on your finger, I give to you my heart and a promise of devotion.” I carefully (nervously) slid the ring onto her slender finger. “I give you this ring to wear with love and joy, as a reminder of my love for you and my thanks for the years of companionship we have shared and the many years we have yet to enjoy.”

“With…” I took paused to take a deep, steadying breath as my emotions began to get the better of me. “With this ring I pledge to you that I will forever be your husband. With the Force as my witness, I gladly marry you and give my life to you. With this ring, I wed you and bestow upon you all of the gifts and treasures of my mind, heart, and soul.”

Kasari had to wipe a few stray tears from her eyes before she responded to my vow, “I will wear this ring with joy. Whenever I look at it, I will remember this wonderful day and the vows we have made.”

I felt Vik pat me on the shoulder as Kasari prepared to give me her vows, “Darvix, I give you this promise ring as a symbol of my eternal love and deep gratitude. As I place it on your finger, I give to you my heart and a promise of devotion.” She placed the ring on my finger before continuing, “I give you this ring to wear with love and joy, a reminder of my devotion and love for you and my thanks for the many years of companionship we have shared and the wonderful lessons you have taught.”

“With this ring,” she continued (I noticed she seemed to be handling her emotions better than me), “I pledge to you that I will forever be your wife. With the Force as my witness, I gladly marry you and give my life to you. With this ring, I wed you and bestow upon you all of the gifts and treasures of my mind, heart, and soul.”

Hang in there, I told myself, “I will wear this ring with joy,” I said. “Whenever I look at it, I will remember this wonderful day and the vows we have made.”

I took both of her hands into my own as Karrde spoke once more, “Darvix, do you take this woman to be your wife and companion, to be at her side through triumph and tragedy, for time and all eternity?”

“I do,” I said (somewhat proud of myself for managing to find my voice again).

“And do you, Kasari, take this man to be your husband and companion, to be at his side through triumph and tragedy, for time and all eternity?”

We had come this far, yet I couldn’t get over the sense of dread in my stomach. She could still say no. Hell, she probably should say no. She could still wake up and realize she was about to marry a shady piece of scum that was more at home amongst smugglers and criminals than the civilized Galaxy. This was her out. If she wanted to save herself, all she would have to do is utter one word and it would all be off.

“I do,” she replied.

A few feelings ran through me at that moment. First I felt numb. Just a few ticks later a flood of relief washed over me, which was followed up by an overwhelming sense of joy. I looked over at Karrde, who smiled and held his hands up in the air, as if presenting us to the crew, “As the captain of this illicit smuggling vessel, I pronounce you husband and wife-”

“Now get it over with and kiss each other already!” Vik interjected.

You didn’t have to tell me twice. We embraced and kissed, causing the crew gathered on the bridge to erupt in cheers (my good drinking buddy Aves being one of the most vocal). As we broke apart from the kiss, Kasari’s lips hovered near my ears. She whispered seven words to me that I will never forget.

“I will always be at your side.”

~*~

He ran his fingers through my hair as I lay in the bed where I was recovering my strength. As it turns out, a nine month-long ordeal that culminates in one of the most physically painful and trying experiences a human being could go through can really take the life out of you. When I was a young teenager, I had broken my leg playing shockball. At the time I was certain that I would never feel worse pain in my life. Suffice to say, I was wrong, so very wrong. No matter. Now it was behind us and we could continue with life as normal.

What am I talking about? Life would never be the same for us again!

“How are you feeling?” Darvix asked.

I tried to think of some clever analogies to describe how I felt, but I was too exhausted to come up with anything particularly witty, “Better. Tired.”

“Still mad at me?”

“Well, I don’t want to kill you for putting me through this anymore. Critically wound you, perhaps. I might even let you off with only a moderate beating.”

Darvix laughed softly as he intertwined his fingers with mine, “Think we’re in over our heads?”

“When are we not in over our heads?” I replied. “We’ve spent fourteen years getting into more trouble than we know how to deal with. Remember that time we had to disguise you as a woman to sneak you past that cult?”

“Don’t remind me,” Darvix said bitterly.

A noise came from the end of the bed. Before I could say anything, Darvix stood and rushed over to the crib as infant began to cry. He reached in and lifted up the child, cradling her in his arms. At that moment, there was an odd look in Darvix’s eyes as he looked down at the newborn. I knew what was running through his mind, because I felt the same thing when the doctor placed her in my arms for the first time.

This was our daughter. This was the child the Galaxy had entrusted us to raise and to love, to protect and to nurture. At that moment I felt the enormity of that responsibility, and to be honest, I was frightened. I didn’t think I was cut out to raise a child, to be a mother. Even after I’ve had a few hours to gather my thoughts, I was still somewhat scared. Am I really ready for this?

No doubt the same thoughts were running through Darvix’s head. He was an analytical man, so I knew he was playing through a multitude of scenarios in his mind. He was probably thinking about how he would teach her to play the keybed. Dap was probably thinking years down the line, when he’d have to restrain himself from committing an act of murder when some boy took his daughter on her first date. Someday, he would have to give away his precious little girl to another man.

I watched as Darvix gently rocked our child back to sleep. I was taken aback by the sight of him with our daughter in his arms. It looked as if he was overwhelmed by his emotions. As I reached out with the Force, I could feel the conflicting thoughts. He was scared just as I was and continue to be, but he also felt a tremendous amount of joy. Darvix looked at me, and almost instantly I felt all of my concerns washing away.

“I’m a daddy,” he said quietly.

I smiled, “Yes, you are Dap. Not only that, but you’re going to be a great daddy.”

Darvix sat down beside me once more, our child still in his arms, “A great daddy? Right now I’m a terrible parent. Both of us are, really.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, we still haven’t given her a name.”

We had agreed that we wouldn’t name her until after she was born. Well, she had been born. It was probably time to rectify that, “Any thoughts?”

“I…” Darvix blinked, “I have no idea. I mean, I’ve thought of a few names but I don’t want to make a mistake here.”

“Well, tell me one you’ve thought of.”

“There’s Wynssa-”

I held my hand up, “We are not naming my daughter after some holostar you drooled over as a boy.”

We were silent for a long while. If we were having this much trouble simply selecting a name, what did this mean for us going forward? Was this some sort of indicator of how difficult it was going to be to raise a child? That was a frightening thought.

“Lilea,” I said, breaking the silence.

Darvix looked, “Lilea. I like that.” He looked down at our daughter, still asleep in his arms, “Lilea Zorvan… You’re named after a good friend of ours, you know.”

“Shhh,” I chided. “Let her sleep.”

Darvix nodded and stood, taking her back to the crib and gently laying her down in it, “Remember, Lilea… I will always be at your side.” He looked up at me, “and I will always be by yours.”

I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but I awoke hours later to find that Darvix was still there, sitting beside me fast asleep. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, “Dap?”

“Hm..?” he blinked awake. “Are you alright, Kasari?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “Just… I just wanted to tell you something.”

“What’s that?”

“I love you, Dap,” I said quietly.

He smiled and leaned over me for a moment, placing a kiss upon my lips, “and I love you, Kasari.”

I’m not sure what the future holds for Darvix and myself. All I know is that we will endure the challenges and triumphs together and in the same manner we always have. We would face the Galaxy head on.

He would be by my side, and I would be by his.

The End

Forget health care reform for a little bit...

2009-09-02T04:04:29Z

I WANT COLLEGE TEXTBOOK REFORM NOW! MY WALLET WEEPS IN PAIN OVER THE MONEY I JUST SPENT!

Futher proof that the sci-fi gods love me and want me to be happy

2009-09-01T16:31:13Z

Two things

2009-08-31T20:39:06Z

1) Why didn't I start watching Firefly sooner!?

2) FUCK YOU FOX FUCK YOU

No longer bummed out!

2009-08-29T04:13:21Z

STS-128 launch: SUCCESS! WOOOO!

Signs you need a new doctor

2009-08-28T20:22:48Z

So I go in to see a new GI doctor to get another year worth of Remicade ordered. I will be seeing a new GI doctor in seven weeks.

Doctor: So let's talk about getting you off the Remicade
Me: Uh... But if that doesn't work and I need to go back on it there's a 40% chance my immune system will reject the drug.
Doctor: Yes but it's been five years, wouldn't you like to get off of it?
Me: Not until the FDA says there's a more effective treatment out there. Is there?
Doctor: Well, no.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TREATING AN AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER!?

Bummed out

2009-08-25T05:28:54Z

STS-128 got scrubbed for the day. I'm pretty bummed, because it was going to be the first launch I could watch on TV live. I imagine I'm not nearly as bummed out as astro_the_nut , who was actually at the launch site. Sorry Astro, I knew you were really looking forward to this :(

Sounds like the launch has been pushed back about 24 hours.

If this IMDB post is to be believed

2009-08-20T04:37:23Z

Liam freekin Neeson is playing John "Hannibal" Smith in the A-Team movie. YES YES YES YES YES

However, there's one way to make this movie even better.

as

I want to both laugh and gouge my eyes out

2009-08-18T18:19:26Z

100 Reasons Twilight is Better Than Harry Potter

Some of the comments are clearly sarcastic, but some you have to wonder...

Here's a gem:

Because even though Hermione seems like a great character and all, Bella is more real. How many of us could actually defend ourselves against rapists? Bella is easier to relate to because she really couldnt like most people, that dosent make her 'helpless' or 'submissive'.

Ahahahahahahahahahahaha no.